Me as my Ch Ch Ch Chia Nana Pancakes
This post is as much about pancakes as it is my “cakes” as well lol. Working out during quarantine has been one of the things I’ve managed to be consistent about. I had one goal going into this and that was to not gain any weight while in confinement. Even though I set this goal for myself, I chose to be gentle with myself. I didn’t berate myself when I indulged in the meals I prepared. I didn’t upset myself when I I took a day off when I didn’t workout.
If I wanted cake, I made cake and I ate cake. If I wanted waffles, I made waffles and I ate waffles. I didn’t subject myself to some strict ideals, but at the same time I didn’t get carried away. I kept my portions smaller than usual mostly because it looked better aesthetically. One thing I discovered about food photography, creating a good plating set up, it means adding less to the plate. I would indulge but the aesthetic of the dish determined how much I ate. It was an unusual way to maintain portion control, but it worked.
Beyond limiting portions, I committed to at least 4 days of activity each week. I have stuck to a plan for the last 2 months, with very few exceptions. I haven’t enjoyed the experience everyday and I haven’t lost as much as I’ve hoped, but again I have to remember to be gentle with myself. It was the one mantra I kept repeating.
If there ever was a time for overindulgence, it is now. There were multiple days I used food to cope with all the despair, but I had made a commitment to myself and have worked to keep at it. This post is to celebrate not only the chia banana pancakes I created during this time, but to also celebrate how I left room for myself to care for myself, my body, and my mental health.
My chia pancakes aren’t a shy dish; it is bold in color and sublime in taste. I wanted this shoot to reflect that. I wanted to show how I subtly changed my body, how I loved on my body and how good I was feeling despite all the trauma and sadness in the world. I’ve embraced the idea that during this time food and a great outfit will get me into the right mood.
I wanted to play with the idea of layers so I did two looks of the same material and color. I wanted to show what I’d wear to eat to go out on a fabulous fall night in NYC, and how I’d veg out in my undergarments and eat this dish alone at home when no one was looking.
All of the pieces allowed me to show off my body, to show each curve robed and unrobed. I wore a high collar long sleeved burgundy velvet sweater, a golden maxi velvet gown to cover my entire body and a high waisted velvet panty for when I undressed. I kept the textures soft to the touch and the colors bold. Originally I planned to wear a pink wig to top off the look as the final dollop of blackberry yogurt on the pancakes, but I opted out. I recently went back and took a few shots with the wig and I’m glad I took the time to do so for myself.
Learning to love your body is a journey for some of us. If you find a moment in time to celebrate it, do so. Love on yourself, see yourself and be thankful for still being here. Be gentle with yourself guys and put something on today that makes you feel amazing.